I want it to end.

 Every single day, the thought of leaving always comes and visit me.

And I always try not to think too much about it.

But I'm not strong enough..

Sometimes I fall.

I fall hard.


The world does not seem to be interesting anymore.

I have no motivation to do what I suppose to do..

Corona hits the world.

Allah takes many of His servants.

But He let me be here.. Alive..

Whyy?? I really wanted to go meet Him..

The world is too hard.

Too many expectations that people want me to live to. 

I hate it so much.


Please take me too yaa Allah...



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Would it be better...

 I am sorry for all the mistakes that I made. I am sorry for all the inconveniences that happen because of me.. I am sorry that my performance is not at your level. I am sorry for being a useless human. I am sorry that my ability is limit to this. I am sorry for being part of your bad memories. I am sorry for still being here instead of leaving.  Would it be better then... ?
Read more

A hurtful remarks.

 "How I wish you didn't pursue study under me..." That one sentences hurt me so bad that the overthinking mode will think about it whenever it is turned on. It is so freaking hard for me to believe in myself continuously.  As it was uttered by someone that I RESPECT so much, it bring me down to the lowest level.  And I'm getting drown. Once, Twice, whenever I recalled those sentences. I thought of her as role model, someone I want to look up to, but I think I couldn't be the same with them. Never did I know there were levels that were set up.  So I was again broken, when I was informed and I think to myself, "Owhh... I was getting judged, if my level is same with them, then only will I be able to squeezed myself into their space.  Shit it hurts.
Read more

A life of mine.

 The life that I live its has been a journey.. the smile on my face, the sadness that I felt. The loneliness that cover my day. People always say, you need to be strong you need to pull yourself together and be amazing  and happy and positive and try your best. I did. Oh yes I did. I try my best to smile to fake my happiness although I felt dying inside To strive and be positive.  But no my dear no... My anxiety get hold on me. The voice of depression keep on whispering  telling me I'm a failure  A ball of burden That keep on rolling without destination and rolling on surrounding people Being a troublesome and bringing bad luck to people. It is hard to live my life. You should try sometime. 
Read more