Within Darkness will there be light?

 Owh voice in my head!! Please just shut up and Leave!! Leave me alone!! Why you keep on wanted me to be sad!!!!!? Please.... help me to stay sane instead. Owh voice of my head. How long have you been silent, that when you come, you throw everything at once?  I'm so sorry for the voice of myself. I wanted to talk so bad, but no one is ready to listen, no one would want to be on my side, So I just shut up and leave the voice at the back of my head Is that the reason?

 Every single day, the thought of leaving always comes and visit me. And I always try not to think too much about it. But I'm not strong enough.. Sometimes I fall. I fall hard. The world does not seem to be interesting anymore. I have no motivation to do what I suppose to do.. Corona hits the world. Allah takes many of His servants. But He let me be here.. Alive.. Whyy?? I really wanted to go meet Him.. The world is too hard. Too many expectations that people want me to live to.  I hate it so much. Please take me too yaa Allah...

 The life that I live its has been a journey.. the smile on my face, the sadness that I felt. The loneliness that cover my day. People always say, you need to be strong you need to pull yourself together and be amazing  and happy and positive and try your best. I did. Oh yes I did. I try my best to smile to fake my happiness although I felt dying inside To strive and be positive.  But no my dear no... My anxiety get hold on me. The voice of depression keep on whispering  telling me I'm a failure  A ball of burden That keep on rolling without destination and rolling on surrounding people Being a troublesome and bringing bad luck to people. It is hard to live my life. You should try sometime.